Newton’s Laws revisited
Some laws which Newton forgot to state…
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
[Thanks to K. for these. Original source unknown.]
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Card0 said,
February 18, 2007 at 9:32 am
They’re really funny! ha ha ha
Card0 said,
April 1, 2007 at 8:19 am
Wait, there is a general law:
THE OPPOSITE LAW
There are 4 thought-consequence outcomes:
+ thought, + outcome (the rarest)
+ thought, - outcome (very common. This can conclude a few of the above.)
- thought, + outcome (only the cleverest people can use this to their advantage!)
- thought, - outcome (too common to be listed)
Card0 said,
January 14, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Found something: http://people.howstuffworks.com/murphys-law.htm